Blame urself

Money is really important. Although there are a lot of people say money is just duniawi, today I realized without money u're just nobody.. It is not only nobody, it is no value... I still remember when I have big amount ofmoney, my mother never talk harsh with me.. When I have no money, she always pointed my mistake... And I also realize the treat she gave to all her children are different.. Although her child is delinquent but have money, she will listen to that child.. Compare to the child that is quiet but have no money, she just won't hear anything.. She told me once, what is my problem, I have to tell her so that she knows.. The moment I tell her, the only thing she does is just pointing my mistake... I only need a good listener... Its ok to point my mistake, but please tell me earnestly, not egoistly... I know that I must be the worst daughter in the world.. Every time I told myself that I have to listen n forgive whatever mom done to me to avoid the same thing hit me in future.. But whenever I try to be positive, my mom always come in the way.. Now, the most thing I have is revenge.. I really hate myself now.. But I really hope that this failure point, will become turning point for me to success..

driving-father daughter issue

21/05 9.24 pm I was driving without my driving licence.. I forgot my license expired already... For that, I just want to check my ring size for my engagement ring.. So, it was late, 6.30 pm but because I already promised dear fiancee, so I rushed to the city and find jewelry shop.. Mom n dad call several times cause it almost dark... Dad only call once n mom call several times after that with dad phone.. Later I realised, when that thing happens, it usually end with dad's temperament n he won't talk to you for long.. Well, n when I come back home, I realize he wasn't there.. So, I know he is angry with me... Yeah, I know.. I'm the black sheep of the family.. The bad one.. The worst one.. When dad came home, he says to me that anything happens, I will make him getting into difficult situation.. Honestly, I never imagine that word could come from his mouth.. So, I decided after my fiance party, I want to do something, n I have to strive at it.. Whatever happens, nobody can tear me down... I'm skyscraper.. Before I weds, I must have 50k in my saving... I promised to myself from now on... I don't want to be a burden to this family anymore.... And I don't want to be the nice daughter who came home every weekend just to hear, "you are suck, u're just a burden to me..." I'm getting enough of that...